How Lorraine Kelly avoids paying tax is blowing people’s minds – 12 value-added responses

Here’s a story to take your mind off Brexit for a moment or two.

Lorraine Kelly has won a massive legal case over an unpaid tax bill by arguing that she does not appear on TV as herself, but is instead an actor playing a cheery upbeat character called “Lorraine Kelly”.

And it’s melting people’s brains.

I love this story: Lorraine Kelly has won a massive legal case over unpaid tax by arguing she does not appear on TV as herself, but is instead an actor playing a cheery upbeat character called “Lorraine Kelly”.

— Jim Waterson (@jimwaterson) March 20, 2019

Here’s how the Guardian story starts (read the whole thing here).

The breakfast TV presenter Lorraine Kelly is performing the role “of a friendly, chatty and fun personality” when she appears on ITV each morning and not simply appearing as herself, a tax tribunal judge has ruled.

The presenter of the magazine show Lorraine “presents a persona of herself”, Judge Jennifer Dean ruled, and as such can be described as a “theatrical artist”, meaning payments to an agent were allowed as a tax deductible expense.

“We did not accept that Ms Kelly simply appeared as herself; we were satisfied that Ms Kelly presents a persona of herself,” Dean’s ruling stated.

TFW when you’ve just won a £1.2m tax case but you’re feeling typecast in the role and want to hand over to a new actor but are never, ever going to be allowed to stop playing a cheery upbeat character.

— Jim Waterson (@jimwaterson) March 21, 2019

We have a feeling this one is going to run and run. But just for starters, here are 9 of our favourite responses so far.


Whoah, this is some super post-modern shit.

— Caitlin Moran (@caitlinmoran) March 21, 2019


actually lorraine kelly is the name of the scientist

— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) March 21, 2019


I think it’s time for a black actor to be given a try as Lorraine Kelly. It’ll upset plenty of hardline fans who’ll say it’s not canon, but times change

I’d go for Scarlett Johansson

— Mrs Gladys Steptoe (@GladysSteptoe) March 21, 2019


And the BAFTA goes to…

Lorraine Kelly for her role as Lorraine Kelly on Lorraine Kelly

— shane telford. (@MrShaneReaction) March 20, 2019

I preferred it when Sean Connery played Lorraine Kelly. This one is nothing like what Fleming intended Lorraine Kelly to be like. I think Idris Elba should play Lorraine Kelly next.

— James Rice (@RiceJ78) March 21, 2019


I faked an orgasm once, does that mean I’m now an actress who doesn’t need to pay taxes? #LorraineKelly

— Rachel Hawkins (@ourrachblogs) March 21, 2019


Wondering if I can get a rebate due to the ‘telephone voice’ I’ve put on for over 20 years

— Carla Mayers (@Azul_76) March 21, 2019


So that’s why she says everything is “really, really great”. She’s acting. Now it all becomes clear.

— Rachel Hawkins (@ourrachblogs) March 21, 2019


I do not appear at work as myself but as a person who acts interested. Can i not pay my taxes also?

— Rose Biscuit ( No time Olympic medal winner) (@Rose_Biscuit_) March 21, 2019


I know people are laughing at the ludicrousness of Lorraine Kelly’s inventive tax avoidance – but it’s just another case of how the wealthy stay well off while the poor are punished

Lorraine, pay your fucking taxes

— Ciara McShane (@Ciara87C) March 21, 2019


“It is I, Lorraine Kelly”

— John Rain (@MrKenShabby) March 21, 2019


Lorraine Kelly clocking off from another day of working as "Lorraine Kelly".

— Nick Walker (@nickw84) March 21, 2019


If she doesn’t have to pay taxes because she’s playing a cheery character & not portraying her true self, every retail, cafe & public facing worker should be owed back a fair chunk!

— Zan Phee (@zanPHEE) March 21, 2019


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